An Education

"You sound very old and wise,"
"I feel very old, but not very wise."

Best line of any movie. ever.
This movie really disappointed me too. First of all, I thought it was going to be a lot more dramatic, it seemed like it was trying to be serious, but it never quite got there. Even the intro montage was just so light-hearted, I couldn't take it seriously, or as seriously as the subject matter deserved to be taken. Even all her reactions to the situations she was in were very shallow, immature and half-thought out. Very true to someone her age, but it made the movie less. Thievery, breaking up a marriage, dropping out of school, loosing your virginity, it was all very flippantly handled. I would have liked to see her a little more upset for a little longer, it would have made it seem real. Real-er... more authentic.
Over all I totally loved all the different characters, they were all very well defined and portrayed, probably my favorite was Helen. She by far was the most complex, I feel. I mean, she was defiantly not very clever, but her story was probably just as interesting as Jenny's. Think about it, she was probably in a similar situation, but she chose to stay in the game with the boys, preferring to go along with their games, help them, but stay aloof. Ignorance is bliss, in her case. There's a certain honor in knowing the difference, but choosing the lesser in order to make yourself happy. If that makes sense... The costumes were also gorgeous and fabulous and the entire bit in Paris was to die for. The directing, cinematography, casting and acting were all amazing, the dialogue and plot were lacking.

New Moon

I read all the Twilight books. Read them all and hated them all. My only real reason for seeing New Moon was to see this boy. Any other reason would put me to shame. And let me say right away, that $9.50 as totally worth it. Do I feel like a pedophile? Hell no! The character Jacob is really the single redeeming aspect of Twilight and even then it's only cause he reminds me of an ex-boyfriend. A half-naked, wet Indian hunk? Yes, please. I intentionally waited a week after the opening day, firstly to see it with my friends, and secondly so I wouldn't offend any of the actual fans who might want to enjoy the movie with my squeals of delight and quiet, yet audible, complaints and critiques (not to mention inappropriate laughter). And the special effects deserve some mention, they were unquestionably better than the last movie, inventive and I mean, it couldn't hurt that they got a new director, had lots more money and, oh ya, Robert Pattinson was only in if for .5 seconds so he and Kristen Stewert's awkwardness was limited to a few scenes. Even that couldn't save this watered down cheese-tastic anti-feminist smut novel franchise.

Today

Today, I miss my dad.

It Might Get Loud

Dear Davis Guggenheim,
THANK YOU!

It Might Get Loud was basically a documentary on the electric guitar from the point of view of three rock musicians: the Edge, Jimmy Page and Jack White. Never could I distinguish what it is about their music that moves me so, but now I know it is not just the electric guitar, but their sheer passion for music.

I have been in choir all my life, I love to sing, I love music, but somewhere along the line, I found rock music, and I have loved it. People's taste in music changes and goes down certain paths, I know that everything I love musically is based off the band Brand New, the White Stripes and Led Zeppelin are among the offshoots that I have traveled, along with Wolfmother, Jimi Hendrix and Neko Case. What I usually love about music is the lyrical aspect of it, this film, however, has shown me a little something deeper. I can't play any instrument, so I am in awe of their talent, period. It was so amazing to see how they had manipulated their tools to fit their needs, made them better and still unique, like their sound quality. I have a new crush on Jack White, loved his blues and folk background, and yes, his eclectic style. I also have incredible new found reverence for Jimmy Page. Of Led Zeppelin, I of course, only knew of their front man Robert Plant, but totally loved the band and their music, from a definite bystander point, but seeing where their music came from, seeing how they were affected by other musicians, I knew I wanted to be effected by them.

Everything about this movie was fantastic, it gripped me from the beginning, even the opening sequence of titles was fun to watch.

But I still don’t like U2.

Sufjan Stevens' The BQE

So Sufjan Stevens is a pretty wacky, weirdy-beardy guy, but I get it. The BQU was so much fun to watch and really sincerely very aesthetically pleasing and interesting. Maybe because of this:
When I have free time, when I get bored and need to clear my head, I grab my iPod and hit the road. There's a glass factory down 220 that looks like a fairy palace when it's lit up at night. And the architecture and colors and history of the buildings! It was amazing. I can't tell you how many times I think to myself, 'Man, I just want to take my camera down town and shoot all the different wonderful colors and shapes and shadows of those buildings. I don't know if it's cause I was raised in the city, but there is something wholly magical about city lights, and the hum and rush of cars that is strangely peaceful and calming. Something truly wonderful to behold. So Sufjan, I get it.
His music is otherworldly, I love it. Would I have preferred some lyrics? Of course. Would it have taken away from the film? Yes.
I would love to watch this movie while I run on the treadmill. The swell of the music and the incredible motion of the visuals just made me want to get up and move, drive fast, feel the wind in my hair!
I'd never seen anything like this before, it was a sensational trip.

Where The Wild Things Are

This is the second movie to perfectly portray everything I ever imagined from the book. Spike Jonez is my new favorite person ever! What amazingly, perfectly, real effects! What incredibly accurate character portrayal! What amazing imagery and archetypes and I know a lot of that comes from Maurice Sendak’s novel, but HOLY COW! They just interweaved and intertwined and made it everything I knew it was and should be! This film was nothing if not authentic, interesting, and perfect insight into a child’s mind.
A little Wikipedia reference for you as to what I’m talking about: The book was immensely popular from its release, and has received high critical acclaim. The New York Times noted that "there are different ways to read the wild things, through a Freudian or colonialist prism, and probably as many ways to ruin this delicate story of a solitary child liberated by his imagination."[5] Francis Spufford suggests that the book is "one of the very few picture books to make an entirely deliberate, and beautiful, use of the psychoanalytic story of anger".[6] Mary Pols of Time magazine wrote that "[w]hat makes Sendak's book so compelling is its grounding effect: Max has a tantrum and in a flight of fancy visits his wild side, but he is pulled back by a belief in parental love to a supper 'still hot,' balancing the seesaw of fear and comfort."[7] In Selma G. Lanes's book Art of Maurice Sendak, Sendak discusses Where the Wild Things Are along with his other books In the Night Kitchen and Outside Over There as a sort of trilogy centered on children's growth, survival, change and fury.[8][9] He indicated that the three books are "all variations on the same theme: how children master various feelings…"[8]
I loved the way they added the sister, which added a whole new element to the story and the wild things.

My analysis of the Wild Things:

Carol- most obviously a representation of Max himself, but also a father/older brother type plus perhaps aspects of his sister from when they were younger and playmates. Carol embodies both Max’s anger and aggression and his fear of those emotions in others.

Alexander, the goat, is also an extension of Max, his sadness, the fact that no one listens to him... He has no friends, he is someone lower for him to pick on.

Judith embodies the angry side of his mom and perhaps is his biggest antagonist.

Ira represents a father character, but mainly just a grown-up male character. Max (and the other wild things) has little respect for him, as he's constantly being beat up by Judith. Perhaps his mother's former boyfriends.

The Bull, I felt, was the dog. He said very little, didn't even have a real name, yet Max viewed him as an enemy even though, when attacked, he just sat there and endured it, much like the dog did in the very beginning of the film.

Douglas was the only voice of reason and reality which leads me to believe that he is either a representative of his teacher (who knew all and was wise) or some other grown up male with superiority. Superior mentally, also, because he almost never got angry or hurt anyone.

KW, I believe, was mainly a personification of his sister. She stood up to Judith for him and saved him from Carol. Maybe I'm just projecting, but I bet Max and his sister were a lot closer when they were younger, maybe even had the same friends, which may or may not have been personas of the Wild Things. Now that she's grown up his sister no longer plays with him. KW also had very motherly tendencies, like when he crawled inside her to hide... womb anyone?

Did anyone else notice the use of bird features for people he felt close to? Carol had feather "pants", KW had bird feet, Douglas- -most gown-up, and mature- was a bird, the owls who were outsiders, but wise and mature...

I loved the used of "I'll eat you up" as both an endearing and aggressive statement. Kind of a reflection of how love really is, we love the good and the bad, and though we'd like to throttle some people sometimes, we ultimately love them.

I also like the use of snow whenever anyone was sad and the use of fire as the destruction when Carol was upset.

I interpreted the owls as his sister’s friends on the phone- that’s why he couldn’t understand them and when they "spoke" it sounded like muffled phone beeping.

In the setting I understood the outside world to be desert, something unknown to Max, as most of the time he stays in his forest-y jungle home, then the ocean as a means of travel from one world to the other. Like that limbo between awake and asleep.

Some people were freaked out or disturbed by the use of violence, but if you really think about it, I mean, a little boy is only going to know and understand violence in the sense of comic cartoon violence (which it was most of the time) where people get "hurt" but not physically harmed, or the kind of violence he might have seen when someone gets mad- hitting or destroying things.

I loved this movie and I'm glad it was made and I'm very happy with the artistic choices made. I bet it will win a lot of Oscars.

Whip It: Whip It Good

I was disappointed. Not completely and totally, but just a little. I was hoping for another Juno, which I mean, with really good movies there can only be one, but I wasn't blown away. I really did like it though, I was glad Ellen Page didn't try too hard to make this character SO originial, like Juno. But in this case you didn't need completely original character to carry the story, the story itself was the original trait. ROLLER DERBY! I loved it, from pagent queen to roller derby star- man, I love Texas. The story was fun, the characters quirky, but very relateable, infact I felt like I was watching days from me and my friend hanging out whenever Bliss and Pash got together. That's probabaly the part I liked best, any scene with the two of them. As far as Drew Barrymore goes, most of the directing was good and farely well thoughtout, but there was something to be desired about the authentisity of the derby matches and some of the action shots were weak. Also, I very much doubt someone with Page's stature would last two mintues on a rink. While some parts were too airy and cutesy for me (like the highschool bully) other parts were incredibly real, like the mom and boyfriend situation. Although that pool scene was easily one of my most favorite, not to mention beautiful, things I've seen in a while, I could tell they were holding their breath and it ruined it! I was also glad that they didn't win at the end, it would have felt too contrived, and it wasn't about winning, it was about getting there and it was more real that way. The real battle was Bliss doing something for herself, being proud of it and not ashamed and not feeling like a freak because of it. I nearly cried at the end when the mom read the note. As a whole, it didn't blow me away, but Whip It had some moments that really meant something to me, and that's more than I can say about some of my favorite movies.

Zombieland

Zombieland was so funny. Very original as far as zombie movies go. They created their own lingo and world and in doing so created indeering, interesting characters that were fun for the audience. And the Bill Murry camio! Priceless, hillarious, my dad would have loved that. It really is so hard to take a specific genre like zombie thrillers, or even zombie comedy, and create something fun and original, and it wasn't as good as Shaun of the Dead, but it still had good content. There was some running and chasing, but it wasn't the whole movie, and they used Columbus's "lists" to keep a nice tie on certain things, which added to the humor and the experience of the whole movie. Now I don't know much about Woody Harrelson as an actor other than he's not high on my list, but he was great in No Country for Old Men and I know his niche is the-good-ole-counrty-boy, but it was great for this movie, as was Jesse Eisenberg's sweethearted nerd. Again, a bit over used, but still made a nice addition to the cast. Although it had it's tender moments, Zombieland really stuck close to the basic zombie's invade, people survive plot. But after saying that, I would have been really disappointed if someone important had died. And there was a fun subplot of twinkies. Cute. And the whole, learning to appreciate the small things, blow off steam, that was very fun and original.Not to mention, the special effects were fantastic! Well, ok, sometimes you could tell the actors weren't actually shooting the guns, but let's not be picky, I'd rather notice something like that than see an unbelievable head explosion. Not to mention the creepy way the Zombie's walked, like cats almost, I like that alot. The first blond girl zombie was very impressive. I liked it, I'd very much watch it again, I love zombie movies.

Shaun Of The Dead

Shaun of the Dead is easily one of my favorite movies ever. Perhaps, made solely to make fun of the zombie genre, Shaun of the Dead IS actually scary! The first time I watched it, I even cried when they had to kill Shaun’s mom! And when they rip apart Ned, it was really graphic and scary! The movie’s director and star, Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg, are doing a “Blood and Ice Cream” trilogy (based on three flavors Cornetto in which there is strawberry ‘Shaun of the Dead”, classic blue “Hot Fuzz” and Minty green “The World’s End”, which hasn’t come out yet.) in which Shaun is the first. I can’t decide if this has anything to do with the films’ plots (blood and zombies, cops “blue badges”) or the way they were shot (as Hot Fuzz has a bluish tungsten feel to it). ANYWAY, so these movies are hilarious and all started with Shaun of the Dead, which showcases Wright’s awesome kinetic style, but also pays homage to a plethora of other movies- most obviously Romero’s Dead trilogy- TV shows and video games. It’s a great zombie flick that works so well because it has both hordes of undead and a main character fighting them who was previously running out of reasons to live! This was also one of my first British comedies to watch, so all the cute lingo and cultural references were fresh and fun, and I love Queen! It was witty, energetic and appropriately self-mocking, cheesy fun. Nothing else has come close and I love to watch these guys revamp the horror genre over and over. Not as dark and over the top as Tarantino, but just enough o have you on the edge of your seat. There’s also a range of humor devices used: from witty banter, to crude jokes, props and slap-stick, awkward embarrassment- I love it all. I love Simon Pegg and I love Nick Frost. It’s also a great buddy movie, since I didn’t mention that.

Bright Star

There are only four movies I can think of that captured such incredible loveliness in music, story and scenery: Cold Mountain, Pride and Prejudice, Atonement, and The New World. Bright Star has now been added to this list. Telling the tragic tale of Fanny Brawne and John Keats, this film was equally beautiful to watch and experience. I didn’t know much of Keats besides that he was a poet of great reputation, but this story, told mostly from the perspective of Fanny, was enthralling, enchanting, tragic and in ways obsessive. The entire thing wreaked of suffocation. The inability to be free, to do as you please, to live and love, no healthy lung full’s of anything. They clung quietly to each other, as if under water. One of my favorite moments, for I had many, was when Keats was describing to Fanny what poetry is, that if it isn’t natural it’s no good at all; that it’s about expressing things they way they are felt rather than literally- like diving into a lake.

I thought a lot about that quote and what it meant to me personally. I am no poet, but I do think of things artistically and I was never really able to explain my feelings about art in a way that was enough, that was equal, Keats did this in that one quote. It also explains my love of swimming. But the costumes were unparallel, each character defined and dictated perfectly, each scene a masterpiece of images: the filed of blue flowers, Toots coming down a stairway to a bowl of apples at a window, Fanny’s room with the butterflies and curtain blowing, Fanny’s gowns in candlelight. It was all so unmistakable. And sad. It was all so sad. It was obvious it would all end terribly, but… I know what that’s like. In every moment, I thought, I know what that’s like. I wouldn’t say I identified with any of the characters, but their situations were familiar. It’s hard and unfair, and that’s how good stories are made.

Cat Ballou

So this movie was hilarious. I think I first watched it when I was really young, like too young to remember, and definitely too young to understand it. All I remember is the ending scene which I caught a couple of times over the years. It must have made an impression though because I named my childhood bear Ballou, on account of this movie and, of course, the Jungle Book. Cat Ballou is the story of an aspiring schoolteacher traveling by train who unwittingly helps Clay Boone (so dreamy) elude his captor. She reaches her father's ranch to find that the Wolf City Development Corporation is trying to take the ranch away from her father, whose only defender is an educated Indian, Jackson Two-Bears (also dreamy). Clay and Jed appear and reluctantly offer to help Cat. She also hires legendary gunfighter Kid Shelleen (Lee Marvin) to come and help protect her father from fast-drawing Tim Strawn (also Marvin, funny), alias Silvernose, the hired killer who is threatening Frankie.

Strawn kills Frankie, and when the townspeople refuse to bring him to justice, Catherine becomes a revenge-seeking outlaw known as Cat Ballou. She and her four gang members rob a train carrying the Wolf City payroll, and Shelleen, inspired by his love for Cat (unrequited because she loves Clay), shapes up and kills Strawn. Later he casually reveals that Strawn was his brother. Love it. It gets better.

Cat poses as a lady of loose morals and confronts town boss Sir Harry Percival (this is the part I've seen at least five times), owner of the Wolf City Development Corporation. A struggle ensues, Sir Harry is killed, and Cat is sentenced to be hanged on the gallows. Just after the noose is placed around her neck, Uncle Jed (again as a fake preacher) cuts the rope as she falls through the trapdoor. Her gang then spirits her away in a daring rescue. I think westerns were more a part of my childhood than I realize. Cat Ballou was perhaps my first feminist role model...

Dances With Wolves

Now, I hate Kevin Costner, but I love Dances With Wolves. Maybe I love him as a director, but just not as an actor. Every other movie he's in I literally can't stand. The Bodyguard? Seriously? Bull Duram? No thanks. Maybe I just love that old wild west, cowboys and Indians. But it's more than that. I can admit it's more than that. I feel like every time I watch that movie I'm able to take something new away from it. When I was little I loved his reverence and sentimentality for his animals, when I got older I loved the love story, and now I love the historical aspects of it. The soundtrack is really good, the cinematography is epic, the story is original and endearing. You know what I think it is? I think it's that, basically, through the whole movie, Costner is being made fun of. He's not so pretentious and self-centered as he seems to come off in other roles. In this role he's playing the learner, we get to watch him struggle and squirm, and I like watching him be uncomfortable because I don't like him! Either way, it's the one time when I can say it's good acting on his part. You know it's a good movie when one of the scenes that really stays with you is in the opening sequence: After he's been told he needs his legs amputated and her pulls on his boots, gets on his horse and rides in front of the enemy lines. That slow motion shot of him with his arms open, chest out, not wincing, not flinching, just waiting. When I was six I was run over, my legs were torn to shreds and the only thing keeping my feet from separating from my ankles was a pair of leather hiking boots. I guess when it happened, I thought of that scene and I guess I thought I was going to die. I mean all that blood when you're that little will make you think that, but all I could think was, "Get my horse! Get me out of here!"

Blazing Saddles

I think I was nine when I first saw Blazing Saddles, it was the first Mel Brooks movie I ever saw and the first time I ever heard the 'N' word used in a movie as a "joke". It was also the first time I ever had a crush on a black man. But I mean, come on, Cleavon Little was hot, hilarious, and witty, what's not to like. (Gene Wilder was a close second.)Filled with some of the funniest characters, Western or otherwise- with Slim Pickens as Taggart, Harvey Korman as Hedley Lamarr (It's 'HEAD-ly'),Madeline Kahn as Lili Von Shtupp (hilarious woman, very much an idol of mine, that accent alone kills me)and Mel Brooks as Governor William J. Lepetomane (and an Indian Chief ["You're darken then we are!" HAHAHA! love it.]) Blazing Saddles has held a special place in my heart for a long time. My dad's favorite scene was when the cowboys are around the camp fire and they're all eating beans and farting, yes, farting stirs all kinds of nostalgia for me... Apparently, after screening the movie, the head of Warner Brothers Pictures complained about the use of the 'N' word, the campfire scene and Mongo punching a horse, and told Brooks to remove all these elements from the film. Brooks' contract gave him control of the final cut, so the complaints were disregarded and all three elements were retained in the film with it holding the distinction of being the first film to display "flatulence". Awesome. Obviously, watching it now, I get alot more of the humor, but at nine it was pretty good for a laugh.

Spirited Away

Voiced by Matt Damon, 'Spirit' follows a wild Mustang stallion, living free in the Old West. He's captured by horse traders and sold to a cavalry regiment at a frontier outpost. There, a cruel colonel (voice of James Cromwell and somewhat resembling Colonel Mustard) nearly succeeds in breaking the willful horse. Spirit escapes in the company of a captive Native American, Little Creek (voice of Daniel Studi) that tries to possess the magnificent animal by more humane means, but Spirit refuses to bend to human will even when he makes the acquaintance of Little Creek's fiercely loyal mare, Rain. After he saves Little Creek's life in an Army raid, Spirit believes that the gravely injured Rain has died after a tumble over a waterfall. Despondent, the horse is captured again by humans, enslaved this time for work in a pack team on the transcontinental railroad. Still strong, Spirit manages to escape for a reunion with Little Creek, Rain, and his long-lost herd.

One of the things I loved the most about Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron was that it differs from other examples of its genre in that the horse do not speak or sing; only Spirit's voice is heard as voice-over narration. I am not lame for loving this movie. The first time I saw it, only saw the very end scene with the horse running with the eagle and I was inspired. I saw to the middle again about a year and half later, but only saw to where Rain dies and I was crushed! Then, I saw it at the Robinson and my little 5 year old heart was all a-flutter. I love horses. They are the most magical animals... ever. I don't know why I love them so much. They are so graceful and strong and natural. They symbolize and embody everything I love about the old west, Native American culture, and the ideas I harbor about the unsettle North American continent. Ever since I was a little kid and learned about Native Americans I have been fascinated by their culture and the land's unsettled appeal. I mean, it was a completely foreign concept that the buildings and world as I knew it didn't always look like that. That fields and trees were expansive without buildings anywhere. I also grew up by a creek with lots of parks, so I have always loved and had huge nostalgia and respect for nature. As much of a Texan as I claim to be, I really don't have much history with Westerns, but I loved Spirit and Pocahontas and other Native American children's tales. They just speak to a very innocent, natural part of me. I love horses. I love the way they show the little mare with almost dog like qualities of playfulness.

My One and Only

I saw this movie with my grandma yesterday and I don't think I would have felt the same about it if she hadn't been sitting right next to me. Although this wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, and I've definitely seen some better ones with lesser actors, it was strangely sentimental and familiar to me.
Seeing the era and the stereotypes of women at the time made me realize what an amazing woman my grandmother is, understand how she must have thought about herself and how to raise her children. I've started to spend so much time with her, I really truly enjoy it, she can really be a lot of fun and VERY funny, especially when she drinks. I don't know, I guess this movie really helped me appreciate my family, which was its point. My favorite line was, "I love my sister, I just can't stand to be around her." We all love our families and would do anything for them, we just most of the time would prefer to do it from far away.
At times it felt disjointed, not knowing when or how to portray it's tragic and light-hearted moments equally, so it just plunked down on one extreme or the other. The characters were either incredible sad or incredibly care-free and the sentimental moments inbetween were not long enough. Also, the movie seemed like it couldn't decide if it were going to tell this story from the mother's perspective or the son's, a great example of this balance was in Riding in Cars with Boys (which Logan Lerman also stared in). Unfortunately, Renee Zellweger did not deliver like Drew Barrymore. The ending was a little weak, also, and I started to feel like I was watching Lord of The Rings when it didn't end with the second tie-up.
I am particularly glad to see Zellweger playing someone her age, some many times (Nicole Kidman, Sandra Bullock) actresses continue to try to stay in their genre or role of young female, but she played an older woman with 2 almost grown boys, and she looked the part and though the character was sad, it wasn't a sad role for her.
Not to mention the kid in this movie was SO CUTE. Logan Lerman has one of the prettiest faces I've ever seen on a boy, yet still maintains that masculine quality. I also loved him in the TV show Jack and Bobby and 3:10 to Yuma, one of my all-time favorite westerns, even though it's a remake...

Top 10 Favorite Christmas Movies:

That have nothing to do with Christmas...
(in order of relevance  to Christmas and quality of movie)

10. Peter Pan
9. The Phantom Of The Opera
8. Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind
7. While You Were Sleeping
6. Little Women
5. Bridget Jones's Diary
4. Sleepless In Seattle
3. Just Friends
2. Someone Like You
1. Die Hard

Adam

This film was a bitter pill to swallow. I liked it, I really did, it was just not a feel good movie. It was sweet and in many instances funny, but the ending was painful. I loved Hugh Dancy's portrayal of Adam, he is a really great actor. I've known a couple of people with Asperger's and my cousin is autistic so I feel like I can say it was an accurate representation. So many parts were so powerful, the mirror scene or when he finds out she lied, in the lawyer's office, or him in the doorway, the extreme anxiety of it, the literalness of his feelings. Everyone always talks about how they feel in metaphors but he put those feelings into real actions, it was scary yet understandable, that's what was so scary. Beth's character was very interesting and intense also. It would be so hard to love someone and never know if they loved you back, to never be able to share feelings with them and have them understand. I just can't even imagine what it must be like, but it was so inspiring, seeing them learn from each other and grow. They both started out so selfish and immature and by the end they had grown up so much, so independent and with purpose, but separate. That's the part that hurt, they meant so much to each other, but they had to be apart to learn how to be better for each other, and then they weren't together. But I think they ended up together, I think that's what the end alluded to. And it was so great, those last 30 seconds, when Adam opens the book and you see his reaction and you know he's just realized something, but you don't know what it is. 'Mind-blindness' like he says, but this time it's the audience that doesn't know what he's thinking, I loved it.

Were The World Mine

HO-LY. SHIT. This movie was the most incredibly sincere, real, out of this world fantasy ride I have ever seen (next to peter pan of course). Probably my favorite Shakespearian play of all time is A Midsummer Night's Dream and I was so excited and intrigued at how they turned the story as they did, made it totally relatable, real, and still so OUT OF THIS WORLD! Not only were the characters charming and wonderful, Timothy and John have the sweetest harmonies and voices! UH! I am, obviously, the least judgmental person, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, and I LOVE GAY BOYS. I love a good gay romance, especially when the boys are as cute as the ones in this movie! But also, man, I don't know I just love seeing people find love, especially those who are discriminated against. And like they said, "The course of true love never did run smooth!" Oh my goodness, and I know there were silly, cliché things about this movie, but I just loved so many things about it! The costumes, the music, the characters, the actors, the set designs, the choreography, the special effects, the PLOT! I realize a lot of it was taken from the play, but really turned on its head and made so much more! I liked it so much more than I Can't Think Straight, like, a million times more. Were the World Mine was everything I could ever want out of a movie and in great quality. It was sentimental and sweet, while still giving the content the seriousness and involvement it deserved as a homosexual film. It makes my heart sing.

Timothy was such a wonderful character to relate to and live through for that two and half hours. Everyone knows what it's like to love someone who you assume you don't have a chance with, and then to have that chance to make them love you, realize its wrong, and has to give them up. I mean, no not everyone has THAT experience, but you get my idea. I loved it. I'm buying it. The end.

CoCo Before Chanel: Chance

For Christmas my senior year, my sister gave me a bottle of Chanel perfume, Chance. I never got so many compliments as I did the year I wore that. It was such a great scent: mature, but still young and sassy, and still sophisicated. That summer I went to Cabbo San Lucas and accidentally bought Chanel Chance Eau Fraiche, almost the exact same perfume, but a clear green and with a much fresher, springtime edge. Now it's all I wear. I don't think I'll ever buy anything else. It literally is my signature scent. I have a friend who, every time I see her, never fails to say, "Oh you smell like a Bonnie!" I love that feeling. Chanel makes every girl feel classy and fabulous. And yes, she did say that. Very smart lady.
I really loved this movie, but definately found it lacking. CoCo's transformation and struggles were heart-wrenching, hillarious, and real. But some how on film, they came off half-heartedly. It was great to see her start out in the bars singing with her sister, I really knew very little to next to nothing about her, so Audrey Tautou's depiction of her seemed true enough for me. Not to mention I am totally obsessed with Audrey Tautou. Anyway, it was just strange how she just seemed to slink into situations and then slink out. I know it's hard to be in someone's mind and really depict their inner genius, but it literally felt like I was just watching someone stumble into their fame. Like her successs was almost completely coincidental. I guess I thought they should have shown more of that progression, the actual process of culminating a style and forming a fashion sense and style. Instead it was just like, yes all these things happened, then she made her own label and then she was famous! And I do realize it's titled CoCo BEFORE Chanel, but I'd like to have seen a little more of that than just, ya she got lucky with who she slept with...
The cinematography was heaven, all the sets and scenery were so beautiful, just breath-taking. Most noteably was when they go to the ocean. Not to mention, how much did I love her English French-speaking lover? I don't know how I feel about how they romantisized that...
It was also so much fun to see how her style made her such an icon. She truly was just so ahead of her time and now I understand why I love her clothes and fashion so much. Her clothes are flattering for most forms, simple, sophisticated, timeless and classy. What's not to love?

I Can't Think Straight

So tonight I PAID to see 'I Can't Think Straight' and was incredibly disappointed. I wasted 7.50 on a campy lesbian chick flick. The characters were wishy-washy and poorly constructed. One second Tallah was rebellious and devil-may-care and the next she's all distraught because her family wouldn't understand? She didn't want to hurt her boyfriend? And overnight Leyla is all the sudden 100% positively a lesbian after dancing with Tallah for, oh, about 2 minutes, even though in the beginning of the film she goes on and on about how she's so strong in her faith and a good little Muslim girl! What gives? It was just too cheesy for any film genre; I honestly contemplated walking out and asking for a refund. It would be one thing if I had seen it for free, I paid for that and all I could do to pass the time was to make fun of it. The drama of it all was so over the top. And they both have understanding younger sisters and fathers, but the moms can't take it? The one real moment I liked where I thought they really made a point of showing what a struggle it can be to be homosexual in a culture of strong religion is when the mom yells "Then you will BURN IN HELL!" Ouchers mom. Anyway, I've seen lesbian films and I've seen gay films and all I'm saying is, there have been better. Much better.

Chris and Don: A Love Story

How much did I love this movie? So much. What a unique time, what a unique love. All through the movie all I could think about was 'Will anyone ever love me as much as these men loved each other?' Maybe not, but their story was nothing if not inspiring. I really liked how the movie followed such a clear time line, so many times in documentaries they jump from event to event, this felt very fluid and as if you were really experiencing their relationship as it unfolded, but the hindsight was nice too. Don seemed very child-like even in his old age, it was impossible to not love him, you immediately knew what Chris saw in him 30 years before and, most importantly, you knew how much he loved Chris. They seemed to live a charmed life of travel and leisure, it seemed so magical, so wonderful, you almost forgot the things that must have brought them together: the second world war, the changing atmosphere of Hollywood, their incredible age difference, and of course the taboo of homosexuality. Still, it seems uncanny.
I regret to say I've never read any of Chris Isherwood's work, but of course I love Cabaret. Everyone and their mother loves Cabaret. Sally Bowles was one of my all time favorite female characters since I was little, she had such spunk and sass, and I wished I could be that confident. She and Holly GoLightly, of course. Both great movies, both great books, both written by gay men. What-da-ya-know.
I had never seen any of Don Bachardy's work either, but my goodness, what a talent. I loved his use of colors for lighting and shadows, I mean wow. I've never seen anything like that, it made me want to take an art class! You just never know what a little hobby can turn into, I mean I wish I had that. And all his drawings of Chris as he was dying... just heartbreaking. Again, I wonder if I will ever find a love like that.

Things I Think About

If oil is made from fossils, in millions of years will people be pumping oil from our cemeteries? I'd like to be cremated, there's no point in keeping a body around when the thing that makes it special is gone. It's like keeping an ice cream carton after you've eaten all the ice cream. I really like Donovan, my friend Matt Terry turned me on to him sophomore year. Once at a pep-rally, someone had written "Brake a Leg." Some people are so stupid, it's great, it really makes my day sometimes. Whenever I feel bad or get jealous of someone, I always remember that they probably make a really funny face when they're constipated. I really wish I could be an artist, like a painter, or a photographer, but I feel like I'm not original or good enough to do that. Plus, doing this for a living always takes the fun out of it, once money comes into doing anything that's enjoyable, it makes it less so. Or collages, I'm really good at those too. I would like to know when I'm going to die. People who get asked that question always say they wouldn't want to know, but I would. What if it was during something important? I work better under deadlines anyway, so I think I could enjoy my life more if I knew when it was coming. I definitely have a type of guy, I prefer dark haired, blue eyed men. I don't know why, I just always seem to prefer them over anyone else. especially the blue eyed thing. I love blue eyes, I like having brown, it adds nice diversity with my blonde hair, but I love guys with blue eyes, they're so gorgeous. I just realized that is a complete opposite of me. I guess I feel like blonde is more feminine, and brown is more masculine, so I have a good balance of both masculine and feminine characteristics and a guy with brown hair and blue eyes would have the same balance. I only had one blonde boyfriend and that was in 6th grade. Sarah Jessica Parker gave a great quote once about how humor is way more sexy than good looks because even when your beauty fades, humor lasts forever. I like that, I feel like there's a lot to be said about someone who can make you laugh. I know I need that. I wish I got that compliment more. I have a lot of character in a lot of different ways. My life has been all over the place, but I stay still, in place I mean. God, I love music. Thinking about music always makes me think of that part in the Little Mermaid where Scuttle talks about how before music humans used to sit around and stare at each other all day, "it was very boring." I'm very afraid of being abandoned. By friends, by family, I don't know why and I can't help it, but I hate the idea of being left behind, all alone, just abandoned. It creates huge anxiety and sadness and fear in me. It would be different if I left and became a recluse, but I don't want to be left. I feel like it is just a stemming fear from loosing everything I care about. The only thing worse than loosing everything you love is everything you love not wanting you around anymore. I also never want to forget anything. I have a lot of important, precious memories that I never want to loose. In fact, if I could record everything about my life, that would be cool to. Probably one of the coolest things would be if heaven was like a big movie watching party of everyone's lives. I used to bite my nails really horribly. Now I don't and I keep my nails nice and long and I think they make my hands look pretty. One of the best compliments I ever got was when my friend told me I have beautiful hands. I don't know why that meant so much to me, but it really did. Little detail compliments are always alot more genuine I think. I usually don't like appearance compliments, they always seem fake, or just, I don't know. I don't like being told I look good, or whatever, if I know I don't. If there's no effort, then there's no need for a compliment. You should have to work for it, not just be complimented on something that has nothing to do with you. Like when people tell me I have good taste in music or movies, I mean, that's nice of them to say and I'm glad they are enjoying what I picked, but I know I have good taste in that stuff. I wish I knew how to cook. I often wonder if my husband will leave me if I can't cook or can't learn.

Darn

How much do I love my life? Last day of exams, hardest exam of all, starts raining in the middle and I left my windows down. Darn. In the middle of studying for my hardest exam I realized I knew virtually nothing about the subject and had a panic attack that ended in tears. I was in the middle of the cafeteria when this happened. Darn. I wanted to see the new Star Trek movie but every person I ask to go see it with me laughs and calls me a nerd. Darn. I have zero money in the bank and I owe about $300 to 5 different people. Darn. A lot of people have been saying some really negative things to me and trying to pass them off as constructive criticism. I don't like it. Opinionated, sarcastic, offensive, annoying and some people think it's necessary to tell me I eat too fast. I eat the way I eat. I talk the way I talk. I know what and when something is appropriate. At least I am open to new ideas, at least I can be objective about what I say and how I think. I have spent the better part of my life learning to be a specific way that other people have wanted me to be. No more. Shouldn't I get more credit for speaking my mind and having an educated opinion about the things that matter to me? Not a lot matters to me, not money or politics or sports, but movies I know, books, plays, music, art, that I know. Am I not allowed to talk about what I know like everyone else does? At least I speak at all? Would I get more credit or taken more seriously if I never opened my mouth. That is definitely something I have learned, don't open your mouth. How can you learn without asking questions, how can you grow and get new ideas if yours are never challenged? People think because I'm young I don't know things. I know more about life and death and everything in between better than a lot of adults I know, way more than anyone my own age. There are lots of things I've yet to learn, I know that, I am open to that, but don't treat me like an idiot, I KNOW I am not an idiot and I can tell when someone assumes I am and it makes me pissed. I rarely ask for help, not because I'm proud, just because I know that can be annoying, so when I do ask for help please don't just stare at me and tell me I'm wrong, I KNOW I'M WRONG, that's why I'm asking for help. What you are doing is not helping me, brow beating is not helping me. Telling me I'm stupid is not helping me, maybe you don't understand what you are talking about and the way you are talking about it doesn't make sense and THAT'S why you can't answer my question. Maybe everyone should get outta town. Summer is here. 3 months of nothing, I love it. Is it weird that summer doesn't really feel like a vacation anymore. Or, I don't know, it feels different. The way I think of it is different. The way we think about summer it's like, school is the extra and summer is the norm, like I have to go to school but then I get to go home and watch TV, and summer is the home with the TV, but it's not. Summer is school. Summer is recess, it's not really what should be going on. Work and school are what's going on. I never thought of it that way til now.

Yikes Spikes

I really don't like it when cartoons bleed. Not like realistic cartoons, like stick figures and stuff. I don't know why, gore and violence and stuff like that doesn't bother me, but I hate it when people draw little stick figure flip books or animation or whatever and their like bleeding or being chopped up, it just freaks me out. Something to do with innocence and children and drawings and blood and guts, give me the creeps.
I really hate big cities. I feel like Dallas is an exception just because it doesn't feel that big to me and I live in a relatively bubble-like suburb. I've been to San Fransisco, I've been to LA, I've been to New York and Boston, I don't like it. I don't like big cities. New York and Boston were frickin cold and the air in California smells weird. My friend said it's cause it's cleaner, I don't believe her. People are rude in big cities, I truly believe Texas is the friendliest state. Not to mention cities are dirty, like sick dirty. New York was one of the dirtiest places I have ever been, I was really scared to touch ANYTHING and I'm not normally one of those people. I just like the country better. And not like country-country, I just like the idea of wide open spaces. I love trees and grass and nature in general. If I could I would own a ranch and just live off the land like that. I like the idea of farming, manual labor always suited me better. I believe in evolution that way. Some people were meant to work hard and be able to work hard, like some women are born to bear children. That leads to my next thing I hate:
Skinny people. Not like metabolism skinny, that's your genes and that's natural, but people who try to fight nature and try to be so damn skinny that they constantly fuss over food and exercise. Guess what, you will gain weight, you will have cellulite, you will have big hips and thighs and saggy boobs, it's called gravity. I would much rather have a little something to keep me warm then be able to see my ribs, not that important to me. If we were still cavemen, those skinny bitches would be dead. No one had anorexia in prehistoric ages, you know why? cause people were dieing left and right because they were starving. If people want to kill themselves slowing then let them. Whether it be cigarettes or drugs or eating disorders or whatever. If people want to get help, GET HELP. It's a simple process, I don't see why it's such a hard concept to grasp.
I used to have a terrible fear of dieing a virgin. Two of my friends died at 15, way before they had an intimate relationship of any kind and it really freaked me out. It's all I could think about for the longest time and whenever a kid or someone young died in a movie that was always the first thing that popped in my head. To me, sex is like the physical manifestation of love, the literal act of love, so to me, if I died a virgin, I died without experiencing love. That would suck.
I also have a large fear of older men. I don't know why, they just generally creep me out to some degree. Few were exceptions, I was afraid of my uncles, my friend's fahters, my sister's boyfriends, it was weird. I was never molested or anything like that, but I guess because I know how guys are and I know they never change, I know at least some of them are thinking something they shouldn't. I don't exactly hold men in the highest regard. It's not that I don't like them or I think little of them, there are some really top notch, classy, smart guys. But men are men.

Back-up Plan: Hawaii

A long time ago, when I realized my life was not going to be exactly what I always dreamed, I devised a back up plan. This back-up plan will be set into motion if: I flunk out of collage, another family member or close friend dies, I loose all my money, a fire, flood, or tornado takes away all my worldly possessions, all of the above.
This plan consists of me taking only key belongings and what little money I have and jumping a plane one-way to Hawaii. Once there I will claim a residency in some beach hut or other low maintenance (cheap) housing, and find a job as a maid. Once I have enough money I will then begin the long process of getting an entire arm tattoo from shoulder to wrist of a Hawaiian pattern of pink flowers and blue waves.
'Why Hawaii?' You may ask. Well, for as long as I can remember, Hawaii has been the ultimate vacation/honeymoon destination for years. This means it's a place of leisure and relaxation and I feel like if my life goes far enough down the tubes, I will need a more relaxing place to live my life. Hawaii is also beautiful, natural, and hot. Above all things I love to be warm, so what's warmer than an island! On a more superficial note, Hawaii has been the setting for such cinematic gems as Lilo and Stitch, South Pacific, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Blue Crush.
Now, you may be thinking 'Blue Crush, Hawaii, maid... I get it.' But that's not quite it. The maid thing I decided on because I have spent a large part of my free time and life in general cleaning up other people's messes, so I figured I might as well get paid to do it. I am by nature a clean person so I would also be getting paid to do something that requires little to no training, and that I am already good at. Not to mention I have always preferred labor work to mental work, it's just easier and less stressful, and again, less stress is what I'm looking for. I am a low maintenance kind of person, there is very little I need to keep me happy so having a lot of money isn't high on my list of priorities, which brings us to part 3 of the back-up plan.
The tattoo, 'Why don't you just get it without moving to Hawaii and all the rest of the hassle?' My friend you are not paying attention. The whole point to the back-up plan is that it comes into action when all else has failed. The little money I have can not be squandered away on some body art whim. I need to keep that money to keep me in college. Now, if I were to flunk out of college or my grades became low enough that I could no longer attend, then I would move to Hawaii and spend my money on whatever frivolous joys I so desired. One of which, would be this tattoo. The tattoo also comes from a movie: Stranger Than Fiction. In this movie there is a character played by Maggie Gyllenhaal, Ana Pascal. In this movie Ana tells of how she became a baker after producing study snacks for her friends when she attended Harvard Law. She found baking brought her more joy than studying law, so she dropped out and started her own baked goods store. Ana Pascal has a Hawaiian sleeve tattoo of pink flowers and blue waves. This movie, this character, and this tattoo changed my life, and I decided right then and there that if I ever wanted to 360 my life, I would start doing what I loved and live how I wanted, including getting a tattoo. That doesn't mean I want to flunk out of collage.

The Diving Bell and The Butterfly

I saw the trailer for this movie a long time ago and never figure I would want to see it. I remeber seeing it and not understanding the trailer and thinking how it wouldn't be a movie I would understand or want to see. But I feel like it means something that I remember a trailer for a movie that I decided I wouldn't see. It was so interesting and yet haunting, and that's when I decided it wasn't for me. I'm glad I did see it, it made me feel lucky. Kind of lucky, kind of unrealized.
What I loved most about his movie was the editing. Each scene was like a collage, lots of seperate different things brought together to create a meaning bigger than it's self. Little pretty things coming together to make one big beautiful statement. And each small snipet showing how the mind works: first you think of this, which reminds you of that, which felt like this. Lots of metaphorical imagery used, which I always love, like the diving bell and all the butterflies. Even the music just felt incredibly in sync with the characters, the events taking place. It was a very well done film. It felt real and natural. Like it all really was taking place inside someone's head. If you could look into my head and put what was inside on film, it would come out liek that. Snipets and chunks and feelings and quotes. Definetly haunting, that is the perfect adjective I would use to describe this movie. Parts of it are sad, parts are harrowing, parts are beautiful, but all together, it's just haunting.
I actually have alot of mixed feelings about this movie and it's book. On the one hand, it's incredible that someone BLINKED OUT their memoir and it would be horrible- incredibly, intolerably horrible- for anyone to have to go through this, but on the other hand, I feel like if anyone else had written this memoir, if it had just been some poor shmo, it wouldn't have been that interesting. The thing that made it really incredibly interesting is that Jean-Dominique had this incredible, interesting life before it was all taken away. It's a little sureal that all this happened to this man.

Peter Pan

Back in the day, when I was a little kid, I loved Peter Pan. I feel like it was the first adventure movie I had ever watched that didn't have to do with Princesses. It was about a regular girl who was visited one night by a boy who took her away to have marvelous adventures. But as psychologist tell us, these boys- who offer adventure- rarely offer stability or love, because sooner or later, the girl wants more than just a 'good time' and the boy runs off to stay a boy and girls grow up. I mean, really that's the basic gist of the tale, that girl's are more mature than boys, and that everyone has to grow up so why try to relive your high school glory days, guys?
The thing is I really loved it as a child, despite the subliminal messages, and really carried a torch for the story as I grew up. I remember vividly one day in school when we were reading the book Lord of the Flies, I was looking at the paperback version, with the blonde boy on the front with green leaves and twigs all in his hair and thinking, 'Hey, THIS is how I always imagined Peter Pan..." I was also always grossly disappointed that there was never anything going on with Peter and Wendy. Even after we got the taste of jealousy Wendy had over Tiger Lily, their romantic relationship was never developed. Of course there was Hook and the Disney and Mary Martin version, but none of them seemed really satisfatory to how I had invisioned Peter Pan. Then Christmas of 2003 came, and Autralian director P.J. Hogan released his live action, male lead, CGI packed version of Peter Pan. I was in total and utter awe. This Peter Pan was everthing I had ever hoped, wished, wanted in a telling of Peter Pan. A cute little blonde boy played Peter, the set and scenery was magical, Hook was actually SCARY, and the music was incredible. I was 13 years old and cried 3 times the first time I saw this movie. It was amazing, AMAZING. I had never had any other movie complete and blow my mind so entirely. I saw Peter Pan the day it came out, and every day for the rest of the week. I saw it in theaters a total of 14 times, then bought the movie as soon as it came out, bought the soundtrack, was given the movie poster as a birthday present, and then one of my friends went to Hollywood and got Jeremy Sumpter's autograph and gave it to me as a present. I liked this movie a little bit. I ate, drank, and slept Peter Pan for about 2 years until I felt a little too Michael Jackson-y.

Hugh Jackman

I recently saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine and was a little disappointed. While Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds or more than enough reasons for me to go see any movie, no matter what my hang-ups might be, I really wish they had done a little more (or a lot less) on this prequel. Every event was rushed and the extraneous time they could have used developing core characters or events was used to introduce miscellaneous characters that were only in the movie for about five minutes. Most of the special effects were top notch, but again, it was all a little over done. As far as the X-Men series, I really like all the installments. Plots were all well thought out and cohesive and all characters meshed well into the whole of the context. In Wolverine, however, some character's powers were not even explained, which led you to believe they were just highly athletic humans, which goes against the whole story line in general. Also, I had a huge problem with how the handled the fact that Sabertooth was Wolverine's brother AND was one of the enemies that got killed in the first X-Men, something smells fishy with this plot development. But that's what happens when you throw in random characters without looking at their dynamic with the story. Example: Jean Grey being the Phoenix and killing Scott Summers in the third X-Men.
The bottom line is, I love Hugh Jackman. Not only is he amazingly gorgeous (voted People's Hottest Man) but he has talent to boot. His wife is 8 years his senior and they have two adopted kids. Seriously, what's not to like? He did a stupendous job hosting the Academy Awards this year and he's had more high quality motion pictures than some actors have in their whole lifetime. There was Australia, The Prestige, Someone Like You (one of my all time favorite movies. I actually named my cat after his character, Eddie.), Paperback Hero, Kate & Leopold, Swordfish, Van Helsing, The Fountain, Scoop! The man's been busy, not to mention his leading roles in Oklahoma! and The Boy From Oz. He can sing, he can dance, and he can act and he's from Australia, I love him.

BRAND NEW

How much do I love Brand New? So incredibly, incandescently, totally, and completely.
Brand New is an alternative American rock band from Levittown, New York, formed in 2000. I first heard them when I was in 7th grade. I was watching a late night VH1 show, Upcoming Bands. It was a school night and I should have been in bed, but I snuck to my dad’s room with a pen and paper and wrote down all the artists I liked. It showed the music video for “The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows” and I was hooked. The notes were angry, the lyrics were poignant, and the song title was long. I went out and bought their second album, “Deja Entendu”. The title is French for "already heard," which is said to be at critics who claimed that the band sounded like every other group in the genre. Every artist I had listened to up till then was on someone else’s accord. They were mostly pop music and I liked them, but it wasn’t anything exciting, nothing I identified with. Brand New was my first ever musical endeavor that was completely my own and I loved them with every ounce of pre-teen angst I had. Every song hit a chord and every word was poetry, I had never heard anything so beautifully sad in my life. In every song, they said something I wanted to say, but more eloquently and with better syntax than I could ever hope for. I listened to them day and night, all the time, repeat after repeat, and it never got old. Every song was a new discovery. Then in 8th grade, I learned about an earlier album, “Your Favorite Weapon”. I bought it and ate up every syllable and every meter. If “Deja Entendu” was depressed teen angst in your bed with the lights off, “Your Favorite Weapon” was the anthem of too young to party seriously, but too old for childish games. It was upbeat, get-me-out-of-the-house music, and I was ready to let loose. By this time I was starting to delve deeper into the meanings of the songs and how they related so perfectly with my life. And Brand New led me to other great artists: Mae, Motion City Soundtrack, Say Anything, The Alkali Trio, Taking Back Sunday, The Smiths, Morissey, the alternative-punk classics of their genres and my generation. I had started a movement with my friends, who where now worshiping Brand New as much as I did and it was exhilarating. You could walk down the halls and hear someone singing the lyrics and that’s all you’d need to know to know you had a new friend. They were a common bond unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Knowing and loving this one band made you a part of an elite few, and those few others were all you needed. Many of the long titles I loved so much were movie quotes, book quotes, and philosophical mantras. It was such an incredibly fresh change from the chorus-is-the-song-name shallowness of the rest of popular music at the time. Their second single, "Sic Transit Gloria... Glory Fades," is a shortened version of a Latin phrase sic transit gloria mundi, "Thus passes the glory of the world" in reference to a line from the movie Rushmore; "I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light," is a reference to a line in the book The Moves Make the Man by Bruce Brooks; or at the very end of “Play Crack the Sky” when they make an allusion to The Beatles’ “A Day In The Life”.
The next couple of years we waited for another album. It was like waiting for word from God. That sounds extreme, but we were dieing to know if the band that had taken the words from our mouths and put them out for everyone to hear- could do it again- could remind us who we were, tell us how to feel. Then there was news of a new album, demos were out on the internet and I heard “The Sowing Season”. I listened patiently, some people thought they had changed their style too much and that the lyrics were no longer relevant, but I listened. Like good Brand New fashion, the chorus was original and simple, with the repeating yell, “Yeah”. From that moment I just knew, I just had an overwhelming sense of being at ease, because some good things never change. But that wasn’t the end. After so much anticipation for the new album, “The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me” there were bound to be let downs. The album was angry, screaming, angstier, and confusing. I didn’t like or understand all the songs like I used to, the meanings were more referential and no longer pertained to how I felt or where I was in my life. Then my dad died, and I understood. Obviously, it’s chalk full of bible references, and, as you can imagine, for someone who has lost their family (and their faith) it all sounds very profound. “Sowing Season”, “Milestone” “You Won’t Know”, “Not the Sun” and “Jesus Christ” were my all time favorites. What am I even saying, they were all BRILLIANT. I still listen to them, I will always listen to them. Brand New, you have my heart and soul.

Twilight: The Anti-Christ

Twilight is bad. It’s not kind of good, it’s not sort of good- it is down right bad. When I read those books (and yes, I read them all) I was so frustrated that I had never written down my pre-teen vampire fantasy because then I could be a multi-millionaire like that no-talent Mormon hack. Not only is the plot pathetic and completely predictable, it’s unoriginal, and the writing itself is bad. Let me say that again: IT IS BAD WRITING. Stephanie Myer couldn’t write herself out of a phone booth. There is a good page and half dedicated to describing how Bella washed a dish. Pure genius. The characters are all totally static, they never change, and they never evolve- with the exception of Bella’s sudden and total commitment to motherhood over night. Am I supposed to find these characters relatable or interesting?
Bella is the biggest whine-bag I have ever come across in literary history. I hope to God no teen looks up to her because she is the manifestation of anti-feminism and then some. Afraid of blood, afraid of the dark, clings to her little boyfriend for dear life, and she’s so original and unique because she READS. “Holy Crow” give me a medal, where’s my mister perfect, I read! And just because Meyer makes reference to Romeo and Juliet does not make this series high quality work. J.K. Rowling should be incredibly offended that this toilet-paper novel claimed to be ‘The Next Harry Potter’. What in God’s name is our society coming to? There are grown women- smart, smart women- who think these books are the bee’s knees. I pity them, their children, and their husbands/ boyfriends- if they have any.
The movie was no better. I mean, it would be hard to make a good movie out of a book with literally no substance, but hey, even The Lost Boys gave me a thrill. While the end scene was the only redeeming part, it was ruined by Kristen Stewart’s eye-crossing, weird moaning, almost-death scene; especially the hospital scene where we got to see Stewart’s ad-libing skills at their best with a bunch of non believable mumbling nonsense. Thank you, Kristen. The movie just made the book that much worse, it was like the antithesis of something that sounds good in your head, but then when you say it out loud you think, “Man, I sound stupid.” But Stephanie Meyer just couldn’t keep her mouth shut! We got three whole books of her teeny-bopper, vampire gold. As if Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel didn’t milk it up enough, now we have Twilight. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you, the down-fall of a generation of morons.

A Little Vellini in All of Us

The Last Mistress, while it was incredibly raunchy and explicit, was totally and marvelously good. I say with a little shame, Vellini is a character after my own heart. Why do we have to cater to men's idea of what a woman should and shouldn't be? This concept relates to all women in any age or era and it stinks. Men do it to, I know, but for some reason it's more OK for men to be feminine than it is for women to be masculine. The character Vellini was so amazing to me because she never apologized for the way she was, she did what (and who) she wanted and didn't pay attention to commentators. I wish I could be like that. I also wish I could get what I wanted. Vellini is a one of a kind for a reason, and it's a movie for a reason. It's not real. It's not reality and that's not how the cookie really crumbles. In real life Vellini gets an STD and dies a horribly slow and painful death. There is no rest for the wicked, and she definitely was wicked.
One of the things that struck me and was so fascinating was the basic relationship between her and Ryno. It's a perfect example of why sex is not a strong enough tether in a relationship to keep people together forever, but there was something a little more to them. They were both looking for something more that they weren't finding in their counters at the time. Ryno for a strong feminine lover and Vellini for a naive, 'loving' (as in obsessive) partner.

Everybody's Free

I first heard this song in Romeo and Juliet, with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes. My friend took the soundtrack on a plane to Europe and it got lost. Then, a couple years later I bought the soundtrack on iTunes and found this version with some random guy talking. I listened to the first 30 seconds of this guy talking about sunscreen and I got annoyed and deleted it. Somehow, I listened to it again and found the most precious diamond in the rough. This song has come to mean more to me than any other words put to music. This song is actually an essay called "Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young" written by Mary Schmich and published in the Chicago Tribune as a column in 1997. How crazy. How amazing.
Every utterance in this song is important, indepth, captivating, and above all, true. This song inspires me in way I haven't felt in years, if ever. It spreads hope and possibility, things hard to come by in such a cynical world.

"Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded." This first line, one of the first opening statements, is incredible. An age old concept that everyone knows, and yet, no one seems to grasp it, understand it, hold on to it and make it their own. We always live in the here and now and end up looking back and thinking God! How I wasted it! I should have lived every moment, I should have breathed and kicked and screamed with all the life and happiness that was in me!

"The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind;the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday." Again, so TRUE. I think this concept is hard to people my age to grasp because they are still living in their safe little bubbles, unaware of the world around them. To quote a very wise man, "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward." Rocky Balboa was the man.

"Don't be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours." This line, like many other lessons in my life, I learned the hard way. Treat others as you would like to be treated and have respect for yourself. Jesus said, this is my new commandment, Love one another as I have loved you. The man may never have existed, his teachings could be totally false, my opinions on religion are not positive, but I do believe in love. The end-all, be-all is love. And if that's what Jesus teaches then preach on, preacher. But seriously, respect yourself enough to say 'when,' even when you feel guilty, if they love you as much as they say, they will understand, and if they don't- move on. Someone else is dieing to take their place.

"What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s." Another hard lesson, taught to me and everyone I knew in highschool through me. I got into a pickle, if you will, and everyone was berating me, and telling me I should berate myself, because of one choice, obviously the wrong one. Maybe my investment in this line as a universal truth is a cop-out, but I NEED to believe it's true. I do know I'm not the only one to ever make mistakes, life goes on. We do what we can and try not to hurt too many people along the way. You learn from your mistakes, I know this to be true, so maybe the time we spend repenting is worth it. Sin is a funny word, but I feel like a majority of people conntate 'mistake' with 'sin'.

"Enjoy your body, use it every way you can, don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly." I just started living by this one. I took up ballet because I used to use my body for action and force. Now I'm using it like a ribbon, elegantly, flowing. I like my body this way, I like the expression it contains. I never used to like to dance, I still don't do it very well, but atleast now I try.

"Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future." Not being closer with my family is one of the biggest regrets I still carry with me. I do not take them for granted any more. You don't always agree with your parent or your siblings, but you are who you are because of them, good or bad, and you should thank them everyday.

"Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on." It used to really get to me, how people would move away and you'd never hear from them again. It was like they were dead, but worse, they were just moving on without you. I always had a terrible fear of abandonment and I hated it when people would leave, but now I know it's just a part of life. But I have held on to a couple of really dear friends. When people truely care about one another, they stay interested in each other's lives, that's what friends are and that's what friends do.

"Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85." There was this girl I knew in high school whom I hated and who hated me, we just didn't get along. She was a total air-head and, literally, had nothing of substance to add to the world. She had fake, fake, fake, platnum blonde hair. She was tall and skinny and everyone loved her, for no reason. Then one day she decided to dye her hair dark, to it's natural color. Well, not only did she look aweful, but then she had to dye it back to the white blonde it used to be. Her hair was fryed, she looked like a poodle, so she had to cut off most of the damaged hair, leaving her with a really cute short cut. Well, of course, after a while, she got tired of her short due and put in extentions to make it long again. The tempermentality of hair extentions restricts your from washing them regularly or puting product in them or excessively styling your hair. Like I've already established, this girl was going through an identity crisis and was constantly changing her hair style. Long story short, the extensions came out and so did 40% of her hair, she now has female premature balding. Don't mess with nature.

"Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth." Take everything with a grain of salt. Be humble when learning from those wiser than you, they may have gone down a dark path, but they did so, and now you don't have to. Be greatful.

"Brother and sister together we'll make it through. Someday a spirit would take you and guide you there. I know you've been hurting but I've been waiting to be there for you, And I'll be there just helping you out, whenever I can." Ahmen.

The Things I Don't Know

My mother once joked there could be an encyclopedia series on the things I don't know. General stuff, everyday stuff, but things I never thought to ask. I didn't know until a couple of weeks ago that my dad was in college in 1974. I mean I KNEW, because I knew his age and relatively when he would have been in college, but I saw a picture of him in one of the old Centenary year books and I was just guffawed. And I never knew that. I remember in kindergarten the teacher went around to each student to get their personal information. The teacher got to me and asked, "What's your mom and dad's name?" I said, what? "What are their names?" Mom and Dad? It had never occurred to me that they might have other names like I had a name, was this something I was supposed to have asked? Then she asked, "What's your address?" I didn't know. I was five years old and I didn't know anything about my basic existence. That night I went home and drilled my mom about anything she knew that I might need to know. Even at five, it created a huge anxiety in me that I didn't know. Just not knowing or the knowing that there was something I should know. For some reason I just never thought about it, or never thought to ask questions. It really bothered me, and still bothers me, that there are things I SHOULD know, questions I SHOULD ask, and just never did, and apparently everyone else and their mother knew the questions to ask to know the answers that were important. I mean, isn't that kind of crazy? To this day I don't know, off the top of my head: my mother's birthday, my father's birthday, my oldest sister's birthday, where my parents grew up, where my mom went to college, when my parents got married, LOTS OF THINGS! Lots of things that people just know, regular everyday things that regular people think to ask, and I never did. What does that mean? I mean, I feel like that's an incredibly relevant worry to have, especially given the things I do know. Random things I picked up from books, from movies, from TV. I know stories about my family, I know lots and lots of random facts, but I don't even know exactly what my father did for a living the 15 years I knew him. There are worse things to know, or not know. It is just an incredibly loud hypocritical voice in my head whenever I hear someone say something stupid. My aunt said, "...half the movie they would talk American and then the other half they would talk Italian..." Or those idiots they show on Late Night talk shows who don't know the vice president's name or the words to the star spangled banner. Ya, they're stupid and uninvolved in society or culture, but I bet they know where their parents went to college, or at least their birthdays. I mean, duh, people can't know everything, but logistical things- dates, times- they are beyond me. I can quote any number of movies, books, plays, songs and I could give you a really good run for your money on trivial pursuit, but ask me how many siblings my grandmother had and I can only guess. This whole personal crisis is made even more ironic considering what a phobia I have for forgetting things, having things lost in history. And I hate history.

17 again...

Called the biggest disappointment of all time, next to Spider-man 3, 17 again was supposed to be the teeny-bopper, Zac Efron movie of the season. Now, I knew this movie wasn't going to be an all out hit, especially for someone my age, but seriously, there were some overall rank parts. Like all the sudden his character starts up on Abstinence only sex education! SERIOUSLY?
"Just say no, here are some condoms, have a party!" That is ridiculous. What better way to prevent teens from having sex but show them scary disease photos and single mothers! That did the trick for me! But seriously, it was like the whole movie was just a big Mormon love fest and BLEH, I was sad. I really was sad to see a movie that could have been hilarious and still heart felt be so family friendly that it was stifled of most humor.
Zac Efron is hot, but this movie blew more than High School Musical on ice. At least HMS KNEW it was cheesy! And at least it was aimed at 12-year-olds. 17 again is aimed at teenagers in high school who have issues with their parents, and you're going to give them this weird abstinence-you-were-a-mistake movie? Too cheesy, too sappy, too everything. Zefron, let me know when you will be scantily clad for 25% of the movie and maybe I'll come see you. Otherwise, you are a sad sell out to the Freaky Friday's and other adult-kid switcher-oo movie jargon.